LADERA RANCH, CA. (Top40 Charts/ Laura's House Organization) - In light of recent events involving
Rihanna and Chris Brown,
Margaret Bayston, CEO/Executive
Director for Laura's House, a non-profit organization whose mission is to change the social beliefs, attitudes and behaviors that perpetuate domestic violence, while creating a safe space in which to empower individuals and families affected by abuse, has written the following open letter speaking not only to Rihanna, but individuals and families everywhere who are experiencing domestic abuse.
Dear Rihanna:
Domestic abuse is defined as a pattern of behavior that one person uses to obtain power or control over another person. It can affect anyone, regardless of race, sex, gender, sexual identity, age, marital or socio-economic status, and it is never acceptable when it happens.
The cycle of violence can only be broken when victims become survivors. This might mean talking to a counselor or taking legal measures to enhance safety, including seeking a restraining order or entering shelter.
Because domestic abuse is such an emotionally charged situation, women and men alike often deny the gravity of the situation, convincing themselves that it wasn't as bad as it seemed, and perhaps there was something they did to cause it. These actions will often lead to reconciliation with the abusive partner, and a promise from the abuser that it will never happen again. However, statistics have shown that this is the exception, not the norm. Once the victim has returned, the abuser has no motivation to change his or her behavior, and the victim feels trapped with fewer options.
Although you have decided to give Chris another chance, we encourage you to learn more about domestic abuse and your options for safety. Read books like Lundy Bancroft's "Why Does He Do That?: Inside the Minds of Angry and Controlling Men" or find local resources by calling the National Domestic Violence Hotline toll free at 1-800-799-SAFE. Meanwhile, beware of any of the following behaviors. They are signs that your relationship is becoming increasingly dangerous:
- The abuse has increased in frequency or severity
- Your partner has increased his or her use of alcohol or drugs
- S/he has threatened to kill you
- S/he has strangled you
- S/he has injured or killed a pet
- S/he has threatened to kill him or herself
- S/he has access to a gun or other weapon
- Strong sexual jealousy
Across the country, organizations like Laura's House support individuals and families experiencing domestic abuse. Starting with your own life, you can be part of the work to change social beliefs, attitudes, and the behaviors that perpetuate domestic violence. Please let us know how we can help.
Sincerely,
Margaret R. Bayston, CEO/Executive Director
Laura's House
www.laurashouse.org
About Laura's House
Annually, Laura's House provides residential shelter services to more than 200 women and children, counseling to more than 300 clients, legal services to more than 300 clients and assists with more than 1,700 crisis hot-line calls. The mission of Laura's House is changing social beliefs, attitudes and the behaviors that perpetuate domestic violence while creating a safe space in which to empower individuals and families affected by abuse.
